Five bonsai trees
The Toltec Agreements aim at finding freedom and personal well-being, present in the ancestral Mexican culture. It was Don Miguel, in 1997, who shared with us this valuable information to help us feel more in tune with ourselves.

1. What is it?

The Toltec agreements are contracts, conscious or unconscious, that we have with ourselves, with others or even with an entity. These contracts allow us to harmonize our values with our actions to allow us to bring ourselves joy, without, however, constraining us to certain rules. It is important to try to achieve this as much as possible, without creating a straitjacket that would limit us in the transformation of our lives.

2. What are these agreements?

There are 4 main Toltec agreements, and one that was added later.. So you can follow these 5 agreements to understand which path to follow to find inner peace.

a. 1st agreement : Let your word be impeccable

Words have a particularly important power. Used wisely, they can work wonders, and increase self-esteem. On the other hand, words can also hurt you, or others in particular. 

That’s why the first Toltec agreement calls for speaking only with integrity. Take time to think, to weigh your words. Don’t let the emotion of a situation make you say offensive things. But favor love and kindness instead in what you say. 

To be honest, does not mean hypocritical, nor even impulsive. But it is being able to say what you think, choosing appropriately the words you want to use to convey an idea, or an opinion. 

For example, if you have the impression that one of your colleagues is not efficient today, don’t say to him “you don’t do anything”, but rather ask him if everything is going well, because he seems elsewhere. The relationship will be more serene.

For yourself, the logic is similar. Be careful to choose your words well about yourself.

b. 2nd Agreement: Whatever happens, don’t make it personal

We are unique, and see the world in our own way, according to our upbringing, our beliefs, our history, our fears etc. We interpret each element of the world in our own way. The same story, the same event will not be perceived in the same way between you and another. Each eye welcomes life singularly. You don’t know what the other understands, interprets or feels. It’s the same on his side! He doesn’t know how you visualize his world. No thought is truer than another

Also remember that you are not others, and you are not responsible for their behavior or actions. Don’t think that they act according to you or against you. They act according to their education or their value. 

If someone insults you on the street, they don’t know you, so it’s not against you. But in his education and the means of communication that he learned in his social environment was perhaps full of insults. He therefore expresses himself in the manner in which he has been conditioned. 

Don’t put yourself in the middle of situations. Think of them as facts or events that are external to you. So leave your intuitions aside and focus on the objective aspect of events.

c. 3rd Agreement: Never make assumptions

We often tend to want to interpret the actions or words of others. In general, we make assumptions, rather negative, about the people around us or their intentions. Just as we don’t know the history of others, we don’t know their ideas about a situation. We end up believing so strongly in what we think, that we consider our assumptions as certainties. So we end up acting toward others according to what we think about their actions. Our response and idea may therefore be biased. 

Dare to ask questions, dare to express your needs. Speak clearly about yourself, share what you think and feel.

c. 4th Agreement: Always do your best

The best is not necessarily the best of ourselves. Give yourself 100%, never less, but never more either. Whether it is in your actions, in your projects but also in your relationships. The best of ourselves fluctuates, depending on our mood, our energy, our thoughts and our desires. 

Act with awareness, appreciate what you are doing, and do it from the heart. Set limits for yourself as to what you will accept, and how far you feel you can go. Accept not being perfect, or that you may fail at some things.

Give yourself SMART goals. These goals are : 

  • Specific : Have a clearly defined goal. You know clearly what you are going to do in your projects
  • Measurable : You can objectify your objectives in a quantitative way, either in time or in shares.
  • Achievable : Your objectives must be within your reach, and you must have the means to advance.
  • Realists : Learn if your goals are achievable and relevant to your current situation
  • Temporally defined : Give yourself a time goal. You can plan several small goals in a row to give yourself a guideline, or a defined goal within a defined time frame as well.

c. Agreement 5: Be skeptical, but learn to listen

Learn to doubt what you may be told. This can have real power. Indeed, our thoughts or words are governed by our emotions of the moment. Being in questioning does not mean that one is afraid, but that one can be critical, listen and be kind to the other’s opinion or one’s own opinion. We no longer let our idea be colored only by our emotion of the moment. 

We tend to listen to the other person with the sole purpose of answering and going against their arguments. Therefore, we must learn to listen to the other person with the goal of understanding them, and accepting their point of view.

 

4. For whom? 

For adults, for children. For anyone who wants to help themselves find their way to inner peace..

Every day, take care of yourself by thinking about these agreements.  You can write them down on a piece of paper, or in your phone, and remind yourself of them when you need them.

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